Lyrics:

Dazed and confused, ways that you prove me wrong
Plays that I do, you just have to put on
Wait for me dude, wait for me dude I'm slow

Is that your sarcastic flag planted on the moral high ground?
Oh no wait it's not
Well I'm sure your's'll come along

Basically choose, basically chews that gum,
halfway into, knew you would say 'Your Mum'
Classically cool, classic the banter drum
I knew folk into pipe band who'd bloody well eat you up
but sure aye go on, saying 'Cool story, bro'

Thought I'd have fun but, fuck that for a laugh.
I may as well have tore my fucking vocal chords in half
For all the good it does me, being cool

Thought we were going out but the shish must flow
But when you're so cool man, who even knows
I decidedly don't

Camp Persecute, camp accent gets you off
Raised by the girls, angry that he's not one
Targets the dudes, who look like the ones who hurt him when young
Just 'cause you're awkward at chatting don't mean you have to shout
You could always shut up, stead'a saying 'Cool story, bro'

And as you gaze into the Netflix title screen
The depressing Black Mirror stares also back ta me
I become what I hate, ages too late
But it feels so good your medicine, 'Cool story. bro'

Cool story, bro

Thought I'd have fun but, fuck that for a laugh
I may as well have tore my fucking vocals chords in half
For all the good it does me being cool

Thought we were going out but the shish must flow
But when you're so cool girl who even knows?

Yeah thought I'd have fun but, fuck that for a laugh
I may as well have tore my fucking vocal chords in half

For all the good it does me,

Being cool...